For some, Valentines Day is a wonderful holiday full of love and romance. For others, it’s a stressful occasion that’s full of spending money on pointless cards and flowers. Whichever way you look at it, every person has a story to tell during this day.
Today I’m mainly going to focus on the male point of view of Valentines Day. I asked 10 guys about their thoughts and experiences. Don’t worry guys; I’m not going to mention your names. I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble, especially today.
As I conducted my interviews, I noticed that some of the younger males didn’t care for the holiday. The ones that did, were experiencing their first Valentines with a significant other. You could see the excitement on their faces.
If you’re a newbie, Valentines can be really exciting. I remember for my first Valentines, I wrote a poem and glued it into a homemade card with our first picture we took together. Then I made a homemade bag and filled it with her favorite chocolates. I even sought help from some girls to get the designs right. It was all worth it when I saw her face.
Not everybody sees this experience. Some see Valentines as a stressful time where they feel obligated to buy something. This isn’t an uncommon feeling. A lot of women see this day as a day where they are entitled to gifts and fancy dinners. This creates a standard by which some guys feel they must meet. This standard causes stress and anxiety. Companies take advantage of this by producing extra cards, flowers and other gifts. One woman said, “I heard if a man buys you perfume, it’s because he forgot to get something for Valentines.”
So why is this the case? Well, if you ask most guys, they will tell you that this is strictly a woman’s holiday. To be fair, women make it a big deal and since it’s a big deal to them, it’s a big deal to guys. This causes some guys to go out of their way to do things they don’t want to do. Some women say they don’t want anything for the holiday, but react a certain way when they don’t get something. Men aren’t dumb. We can tell if you really care about the holiday or not. It gets so bad sometimes that people actually get into arguments with their significant other with small things like where should they go to eat.
All is not lost for those who find themselves in this situation. Like a lot of things, it starts with communication. Having honest conversations about how each other feels about the holiday will help decrease the level of stress for guys. If you’re a type of guy that hated the holiday and you’re with someone who loves it, it’s important to know that. The girl could then be more understanding and know even the simplest of gifts from him would be special.
If a guy is going to buy something for a girl, it helps if the girl gives a gift in return.
In a world where genders are becoming more equal, some things don’t add up. We’re all supposed to be equal now, yet women want men to treat them special. I’m all for that, but let’s be consistent. Guys would like to get stuff too. I’m not talking about flowers and teddy bears, but something so that it levels the playing field. In general, people are more willing and excited to buy gifts if they know they’re getting something in return.
I’m lucky enough to be with an understanding person. I shared with her my feeling towards this holiday and we reached agreements. I’m receiving one the best Valentines gift this year: a Seahawk Superbowl shirt!! It is awesome. Also, we decided to do more quality activities like walks, movie nights, and even camping. These experiences have proven to be more fun than fancy expensive dinners.
Another thing that would help guys out is if women took away the pressure of the holiday. When you take away the pressure, Valentines can be really fun. You tend to do things because you want to, not because you’re obligated to. Yes there is a standard, but we can personalize this standard. Valentines can be a day where you just spend time with people you care about. This is something that both non-single and single people can enjoy. If this is truly a holiday of love, then it should be about love.
Just a thought - Devonte Hill